August 2011
July 2011
You: you ARE the father!
Stranger: OH GOD MAURY NO :(
You: lmao
You have disconnected.
victory!
You: what what in the butt
Stranger: i sayed, what wahtin the butt
You: finally!
You: someone who gets it!
Stranger: you wanna do it in my butt, in my butt
You: you’re awesome, just sayin’
Stranger: thanks man! :D
You: :D
Stranger: cu :D
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: Do u have skype ?? If u have let me to add u and i will show u my dick and this just 4 gay and female
You: no thanks
Stranger: Ok
Stranger: U will lose
You: i’m not interested in penises
You: but good luck with that!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: heyy
Stranger: asl
You: STACEY MERKIN! FUCKING VAGINA WIG
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: what what in the butt
You: you wanna put it in my butt, in my butt?
You: HELLO
You: ANSWER ME
You: COMMUNIST
You: why do you hate america?
You have disconnected.
Stranger: hai
You: DON’T U DARE DISCONNECT ME
You: I MUST KNOW
You: HOW IS BABBY FORMED
You: TELL ME
You: TELL ME NOW
You: PLA
You: PLZ
Stranger: what??
Stranger: lol
You: HOW IS BABBY FORMED? OMG
You: NO ONE KNOW :’(
Stranger: KKKKKKKK
You: HELP ME
You: I AM GOING TO GET A F ON MY TEST
Stranger: man i dont know too
You: :( OK
You: THANX
Stranger: ok
Stranger: i guess
You have...
Stranger: Hey I am male and 19 from germany,what about you=P?
You: i am wondering how is babby formed?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: HOW IS BABBY FORMED?
Stranger: Asl
You: wat does that meen
Stranger: Age sex location
You: 52
You: THE WORLD WIDE WEB IS VERY WIDE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
oh omegle.
You: HOW IS BABBY FORMED
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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pleasefireme:
Please fire me. My boss yelled at me in front of patients for pulling toilet paper off of the roll too loudly while using the restroom.
this reminds me of my ex’s father.
Please Fire Me.: Please fire me. When my co-worker... →
pleasefireme:
Please fire me. When my co-worker relieves me for break at my console, he sits and farts in my chair while i’m gone. He thinks that if he does it while I’m gone that the noxious smell will be gone when i come back. This might be true with a leather chair, as the toots tend to make a slapping or…
fuck fan cords.
fuck hardwood floors.
fuck spilling water everywhere.
at least i didn’t break my goddamn ankle. that would’ve been even better, what with all the money i am constantly rolling in and my top of the line health care. oh wait…
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alex trebek: and here are your categories: sandwiches
laura: YES!!!!!
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“Norway’s Prime Minister is a liberal atheist, they have one of the best...”
– Matthew Trevithick, responding to this story, “Former Bush Official Places Blame For Oslo Attack On Norwegians For Not Being ‘Serious’ About Terrorism,” with a comment that wins the universe. (via cwnl)
SO MUCH WIN
(via stfuconservatives)
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dorkiness: talking to your girlfriend on facebook chat when she’s sitting 10 feet away.
LGBT Laughs: Can Boys Wear Dresses? →
lgbtlaughs:
I’m currently an English teacher working in Beijing and I was teaching a class of 3-5 year olds here at work. The subject was clothing and I came to the word ‘dress.’ The following conversation ensued.
(In Chinese) 3 Year old girl: I’m wearing a dress. 5 year old boy: I want to wear a dress! Girl: